I'm sorry! I've been so busy...

This will have to be a bit of a short blog as I'm at work.

Loads of things have been going on. I've started my new job, which I LOVE, the people are really friendly, I'm asked for my input and today was payday! Just in time for Christmas thank goodness. Luckily I've made the majority of my purchases. I just have to get a few odds and sods for G and my dad and then I'm done.

Been to THREE Christmas parties... one of which was my previous employment where the big boss got horrendously drunk and begged me to come back. He promised me a management position, 10k extra a year blah blah blah and I had great joy in telling him where to put all of it. Then he got so drunk he started a fight and got kicked out. Got to love it!

My dad has announced he's getting married to his new gf. This left me feeling a bit... meh. I don't think he's happy and I don't really agree with it but I'm keeping my mouth shut. He doesn't appreciate it when I tell him to do stuff.

And now, I've got some work to do so I'd better sign off. I'll try and blog again before Christmas, but if I don't... have a very Merry Christmas and I hope you get everything you want and more!

Love D
Xxx

Christmas... I'm getting excited now....

I feel a bit bad actually.... I'm mostly getting excited because today we went and picked out two presents. One for me and a joint one for G and I.

The first one, thanks to my wonderful, wonderful fiance.....


I've wanted a pair of these for AGESSSSS. I'm an utter sucker for comfortable snuggly shoe things. I've got so many pairs of PJs and snuggly socks it's ridiculous....

And then... we went and picked out a BOSE Wave system with SoundLink. So we can stream all our music stored on my laptop to our new system....


Exciteddddddddd now!

New job nerves, old job blahhh...

I have a start date for my new job and I've handed my notice in for my current job. Exciting/terrifying stuff!

My new job I am ridiculously excited about and also borderline terrified about. It's something I am good at but I know nothing about the Market I'm going into. Also I do wonder if my success at my current position is 1% talent and 99% brand awareness.

I guess it's the case with any new job that comes along. Will I be good enough? Will they like me? Is this the right choice?

I haven't burnt any bridges at my current work and I think I've pulled out at just the right time. The day after I put in my notice they announced a load of redundancies in other departments which made me feel awful but reaffirmed my decision.

Now my major task is staying motivated for the next 3 weeks. I take a lit of care in my work and become very attached emotionally to it. My handover is going to be challenging as I love my customers and a lot of them, I like to think, love me. I've told some already and whilst upset they've supported my choice as it's a move in the right direction, salary increase etc. Still hard though.

Plus I don't really have to give two shit's about what's going on now. For all those times I worked my arse off to support others and they never even bothered to help me it's a fresh feeling. Almost smug. But, for the sake of references, I must be good.

Now I just have to try and survive on a little bit less money until everything is in place and get ready for my new opportunity!

D
Xxx

Duvet <3

The weather outside is atrocious. Big, fat heavy raindrops are rattling the windows.

One of the downsides of living at the beach us all the beach weather.

I'm under the duvet of mine and G's king size bed. Flannel PJs on, snuggle socks on and the noise outside renders my insides freezing. To think I'm half Canadian and yet such a pussy for the cold.

Several things happened today.
1) the rain was so bad I had to wear a pair if fluro yellow waterproof trousers to work. Nice
2) I got a call about that job. I got it :D
3) KM sent me a scathing bitchy fb message about our brother never letting us know when he's free for us to visit.... Just as I got dates to visit.

So it's been eventful to say the least.

The thing is the rain brings such gloom with it are bad/good things more likely to happen due to the weather or does it not even factor in it?

Rain for me, even if I'm snuggled up under the covers, makes me grim. I'm a chirpy, perky person (with a slightly whiny undertone occasionally I will freely admit) but the rain just makes me want to wear black make up and curse the day I was born.

Give me the sun and I'm as happy as anything?

I dint think it's even S.A.D or whatever. I think I just hate getting wet.

Anybody else have this problem?

In other news I got my first glimpse of Daybreak today. In a previous life I had a shirt stint working above the One show. Adrian Chiles was alway talking in his mobile whenever you saw him. Blah blah blah I'm important etc. Then one day as he's doing this... It rings.

I hate Adrian Chiles.

D
Xxx

A letter to my 16 year old self...

Tweettoyour16yearoldself has been trending today so I thought, in the spirit of things, I'd blog to my 16 year old self with some sage advice.

Dear D,
I'm writing to you now from 9 years in the future and I'm thinking hard about what I can say that doesn't alter time too much and doesn't give it all away. Here's what I came up with.

Getting your ears pierced for a third time will result in nothing but mum shouting at you and you never wearing any earrings... Ever.

Don't dye your hair. You will be going grey very soon.

Eat better, look after your teeth and don't drink dodgy looking vodka from Costcutter. You will end up with false front teeth otherwise.

Stop smoking. You will quit but it's a million times harder that way.

London won't be all that it's cracked up to be. If you want to make the most of it save as much money as you possibly can now.

Never, ever, ever get a credit card. Starve instead. It will make life do much easier.

Moody is not the one. Don't make bad choices with him because he's really not worth it. He will make your mum cry.

Make sure you're at Scandals on the 28/08/2009. It will change your life forever.

Spend as much time with your mum as possible. She drives you mad and shouts a lot but you must appreciate every second you have with her.

Write everything down, no matter how insignificant. As life moves on these little things will remind you of the past.

Beware false friends with VIP passes. They will talk behind your back for qualities that are admirable.

Stop wearing jeans that could fit a family of ten in.

Take more photos. There will be none of you ad a teenager otherwise.

Don't hate on KM, shell become closer than you can ever imagine.

And lastly.... You will be surprised at the people who stay your friends. They are the ones you hoped would.

Love from D (age 25)
Xxx

Knit one, purl arghh!

I dragged G to Hobbycraft today.

Been laid up with the sniffles is so boring I thought I'd make use of my time and start knitting again.

I've never finished knitting anything in particular but I really enjoy it and am super duper keen to learn to make socks for two reasons.

1) my feet get super duper cold

2) G has size 15 (uk) feet thus can never find socks that fit him

So we went to Hobbycraft which made me all excited. I got the Stitch & Bitch book (it makes NO sense, thank god for YouTube!), yarn, new needles, crochet hook, markers, yarn needles etc etc etc

Spent the evening practicing and have started a chunky knit scarf in this lush, school skirt grey. The yarn I got is like part Alpaca which means it's snuggle warm.

So far so good, it's kept me quiet (much to G's joy. He can play Fable 3 in peace) and hasn't had me swearing and cursing yet.

The cold has eased off loads so back to the grindstone tomorrow. Despite genuinely being quite I'll I always feel shitty taking sick leave. My manager wasn't best pleased when I moaned in my delirious/snot filled haze I felt like I was "playing musical chairs" this morning after being handed to no less than 5 people since calling in.

Anyway it's 2am and I need my beauty sleep (mainly to see if can work out how to purl... It evades me so much I may cry!)

D
Xxx

P.S. A resolution....

Currently I only blog at night when G is fast asleep.

Because of this I don't really get the chance to take my time and peruse the many blogs that are on here and I really must.

So, I promise that this week I will take at least one night to take a good look around follow some of you lovely people and maybe do a few "Inside..." blogs.

I should really I'm in the midst of giving up smoking and am at that turning point where I could fall hopelessly and unashamedly off the wagon. I must find ways to distract myself.

If you'd like me to check out your blog leave a link below in the comments and I'll come take a look.

See you soon!
D
Xxx

Things that go bump in the night...

So I'm too scared to sleep. G and I, in celebration of Halloween drove around the back roads telling ghost stories and now I'm all scared.

Of course he's fast asleep.

Not sure if I believe in ghosts as such but I've certainly seen and heard things I can't explain.

Weird things in the corner of my eye. A towel flung across my bathroom by an invisible hand. A grandmother click, nit working, chiming 13 o'clock.

I think part of the fun/pants wetting element of all things ghoulish and ghosty is the complete lack of fact around it. People tend to either believe, be sceptical or are half n half. If we all knew that ghosts did exist it wouldn't be half as scary.

Still I'm sitting in bed slightly terrified to switch my glowing phone off in case there is something lurking in the darkness....


Knowing my luck it's probably a mouse.


Happy Halloween everybody :)

Sniffle, cough, splutter

Why oh why, does anytime something important happen I get sick.

Big interview on Tuesday. In between now and then I'll have to learn, and master, PowerPoint, wow and sparkle as much as poss, somehow get my nails and eyebrows done, get rid of this mahoosive cold and gross cold sore.


The worst bit is g has never had a cold sore. Thus I am trying my very, very best to prevent him ever getting one. For years I evaded contracting it from various relations (all my direct family suffer) only to contract it from a stupid ex. Apparently breaking my heart wasn't enough he had to leave a bit of himself behind (read crusty, inappropriate and painful)

Exes leave behind a trace of themselves with you wherever they end up.

I still hold onto a real dislike of rice pudding due to one ex who insisted on eating several tins daily, directly out of the can.

Another went on and on about his Chinese heritage (despite mostly being Scouse) and insisted every restaurant we ever went to incorporated Dim Sum. Cue put off my local Chinese for life.

Then there are the ones that leave us with a searing streak of collective "oh god did I really do that?" and pure disappointment with ourselves.

The one thing I ever did haunts me to this day. It was so out of character I don't even know how it happened or why. But it did.

I was "the other woman". It was only short. A few fumbled behind closed doors and a sense of "she doesn't deserve him". It was all it took and then one night where I accidentally bonded with his gf the whole ruddy mess came out.

I became a social pariah and he got off Scott free. Being 17 was bloody hard work.

To this day I'm appalled with what I did and would never dream of ever doing it again. However, like a cold sire, it still rears it's ugly head now and again. Like that little mark an ex leaves on you I succumb from time to time with that gut wrenching feeling of shame. Luckily though it's not quite as painful and you don't have to show it all in a job interview.

A mad mad couple of months...

I've not written for ages... my bad.

It's been a mad couple of months and trying to get everything down and into one little blog post is going to take some major chopping.

The first, and major, development is during our holiday G proposed!

On the beach, at night, just him and me. He got down on one knee and made me the happiest girl in the world. The next day we spent looking around jewellery shops for the perfect ring which I found. One carat sapphire and white gold.

The rest has been a whirlwind of congratulations, cards, presents (Emma Bridgewater cake tins!!!) and prep for an engagement party.

In addition to this I've got an interview. Well, a second interview, at a small publishing firm. I'm not holding out for much hope but it's a glimmer of light in my murky professional career.

So, how things been with you?

Pitch Black Blogging

I never really get 5 minutes to myself much anymore. They always encourage you to do things without your partner but I feel naked when I'm not with G. Or like I'm missing my leg or something.

We spend every minute of every day together when we're not working and I'm happy with that.

I would say the only time I really get to myself is now, sat in the pitch black of our bedroom as G sleeps next to me (he's not snoring for once either which is a bonus).

I'm definitely a night time person and until I met G I had really bad insomnia. Not from anything in particular but just staying up super late.

I would sit up reading, watching TV, mucking about online and then sleep till 2pm the next day. I was kind of like a giant teenager really :)

The thing is about the night is the peace. There's less to distract you, everything is calm and quiet and you really get the chance to be with your thoughts. I'd like to think I'm at my most creative at this time. It's when I hatch my mad schemes and plans for the future.

It's a bit harder than it used to be to do this at night. I never had to worry about other people but now I have to make sure I don't wake G or his dad up. I can't really get onto my computer as it lights up the room like a floodlight. So, for now, I tap away on my little iPhone screen, venting my experience to the world.

~~~~Holiday~~~~
I may not be able to blog for about a week as G, for my birthday, took me down the travel agents to book a holiday. Originally I tried to pay my share and he just told me "not to worry" it's my birthday present.

So on Wednesday G and I are heading off to Rhodes for a week. And my god, am I freaking excited. I've not been on a holiday-holiday since I was a teenager and the thought of sitting in the sun, splashing around in the sea and eating lots of Greek food is too exciting for words.

We are going to a well known 18-30s resort which isn't ideal but I guess we can only get what we bring to it. Plus I like the idea of being able to go clubbing as well.

Thus I may be offline for a few days but will be coming back with lots of tales and a tan hopefully. :)

D

D

So, I've been rambling for a few days now and I'm starting to notice some traffic.

I think it would be only a little bit fair to tell you guys a bit about myself rather than seeming like some self-obsessed nobody drivelling crap on the Internet... you should at least know a little bit about why I'm a self-obsessed nobody drivelling crap on the Internet.

For privacy's sake lets call me D.

I'm 25 years old and from the UK.
My mum was Canadian, despite this, I have only spent 5 days in Canada in my whole life.
In these 5 days I managed to

1) Get kicked out of a nursery school after one day for being sarcastic.
2) Fall out of a waltzer
3) Go paddling in the massive fountains in Toronto and nearly got her mother arrested in the process
4) Learn how to chew and blow bubblegum (much to her mother's horror)
5) Bit her older cousin so she now has a scar on her right index finger

Not bad for a 5 year old?

Ancient History
I was born in London in 1985. My dad, lets call him K, was in the airforce and my mum, G, was a housewife. I have an older brother and sister called KM (sister, 18 years older) and S (brother, 17 years older).

After a move or two I spent 15 years in Sussex where I went to school, buggered about, wrote a successful (and now defunct) blog. I then got bored and then upped and left for the bright lights of London.

I also spent quite a bit of time in Thailand as mum & dad (aka as G & K) lived for three years.

Then G got sick. Really sick. She was sick for a long time. And when K & G were nearly ready to come back to England, she got really, really sick.

K & G came home. I saw G one last time and then G died. G was 62 and I was 22.

Things started to unravel further at that point.

As previously stated it involved money, grief and a mouse infestation and I returned home to my dad.

Cue a year and a half of "getting D's self together", some other familial complications and we are at today.

Currently I am...

working at a newspaper. Not in journalism but in advertising. It's not perfect but it pays the bills (and pays a lot more than journalism)

living with my boyfriend, G, and his dad. Who very kindly took me in after familial problems.

am very close to my sister KM, but not as close as she imagines.

barely see or speak to my brother S, because he's a very, very busy man.

am in quite a bit of debt, which I'm battling at the moment, but a lot better off than I was.

have a best friend who is called Katty. She is 22 and lives in London. I don't get to see her much but, other than G, she is the only other person who knows me inside and out.

I Like...
baking cupcakes (and eating the icing before I put it on)

trying to work out how they manufacture glitter (truthfully I know, but it's not half as exciting as I wanted it to be)

writing (though since the death of G, this has taken a major back seat and I am now written into a contract that could have me sued if I even tried)

music (everything and anything....except Jedward)

G (my boyfriend, my soulmate, the person who steals the icing before I eat it and eats it himself. He's my modern day love story that I thought I would never find after my parents gave me unrealistic expectations of love. It's never Hollywood's fault)

my bicycle (It's a baby blue Amsterdam Classic. One of those shopper bikes that all the Dutch ride. It squeaks like hell but it gets me more compliments from strangers than I've ever had before)

I Dislike...
insincerity (If you don't give a shit then don't pretend like you do. The word would be a lot less complicated if it weren't for bullshit)

that I'm letting my dream pass me by (Because of poor previous choices and circumstances and a sincere fear and lack of ability to get back on the horse)

my dad's girlfriend and her family (That's a whole other kettle of fish, I never had me down as the resentful stepchild but these sorts of things can surprise you)

clowns (I just bloody hate them and hate when G finds a picture of one and chases me around the shop with it)

feet (They just generally creep me out. I also have an irrational fear of webbed toes)

My Life's Motto
Never be mature, life is far too short to be mature. Only be mature for when the situation dictates it and then mature the hell out of it. Otherwise spend your life being content, blowing bubbles and wearing facepaint

In Conclusion

If I had to write this as a school reportit would go a little bit like

"D is an intellegent girl with lots of questions and ideas. She has great potential but allows things to distract her far too easily. If she paid attention and applied herself more she would be capable of many things however harnassing this and getting over her laziness and, what I think may be, confidence issues will be a large task. If she manages this I believe she will achieve every success available to her."

B+ - Achievement
C - Effort



That's about it really...

I'll never get used to not going out...

I still find it hard to adjust sometimes from living in London. Even though I only spent 4/5 years there it affects a lot of what I do, say, think etc.

Although born in London (circa 1985) I didn't "live" there till I was 19.

I lived my heady days of finding myself half at warehouse parties, working in achingly "hip" nightclubs where they served beer out of bins full of ice and Johnny Borrell was doing lines in the non-locking toilets and half of it sitting in my damp, mice infested room on a council estate known for gun crime, miserable as fuck, usually slightly malnourished and worried I had no friends.

It was hardly a charmed lifestyle and I was in no way part of any scene (though I was on the fringe of many which I'd rather forget) but it's left me with some unrealistic expectations on things such as pub closing times, how tight trousers should be and how it can be occasionally ok to use people. And now none of these things apply to my day to day life.

I spent 4/5 years learning and observing rules that have absolutely no relevance in 99.9999% of people's daily life.

If you asked me how to say Thank You in Albanian I could relate to the time when I knew some (very scary) Albanian criminals. Or the best place to get a cheap drink at 6am would involve you being able to speak a couple of words of Spanish to a doorman on a side street off Oxford Street.

However none of this is useful when negotiating a night out in Hampshire. Everything closes at 2 and if you don't get your head kicked in you should be happy with that.

I don't dislike my current life but when I find myself blogging at 1am on a Friday night. G snoozing contentedly next to me after a day's worth of honest graft behind him, the likes of which are unknown in some East London districts (that means you arty types!) I can't help but feel like a bit like an alien in a foreign world.

It bemused me on my return two years ago that people didn't want to continue the party till the sun came up. It was never a question of age as I'd be hanging with people up to and into their 40s but mostly a sense of responsibility. Life in London can seem fleeting and uncertain. You never know when the bottom will fall out and you'll have to return to Hampshire/Shropshire/Buckinghamshire or wherever you herald from and the party stops and you have to get a "proper job".

Living in London can suck you in and spit you out but it'll stay with you in the form of an annoying series of bad habits of excess in all things hedonistic and a tendency to start sentences with "when I was in London...."

Buying gadgets with G... Oh the woe!

So we're heading off on holiday G and I next Wednesday. We have a perfectly decent digital camera however G has decided it is imperative that he gets a waterproof digital camera should the matter arise that he wants to take a photo of some fish.

G's a bit of a technophobe at the best if times so cue us doing a 5 shop hop to look at these fish capturing boxes and to no avail. He's finally decided on one from Asda.

I can't help but feel that this is the PSP incident all over again. He ermed and aahed over these PSP lites for ages and finally bought one for around £300. It got used about three tines and left to gather dust on a shelf.

Why he wants to take photos full stop, let alone of fish, is beyond me. But I'll humour him and maybe he'll let me play with it later.

All this from the man who scowls if I even look at an iPad!

Review of Katy Perry- Teenage Dreams

I've always said I am crap at music reviews. I don't know enough adjectives. However I thought I'd give it a whirl and see how it ends up.

Please excuse the poor formatting. I'm currently writing on my iPhone and I'm still trying to find a decent Blogger editor (any recommendations please chuck them this way!)

So, Katy Perry, To be honest I never really paid much attention to "One Of The Boys". Any song that activist promotes same sex activity for purely histrionic purposes is a big No, No in my book (That means you T.A.T.U!). The songs were catchy and I rather liked the cover of Hot N Cold by that random polka band.

The new album first came to my attention when G kept wittering on about the "Popeecoals" song. This turned out to be his interpretation of the word Popsicle. California Girls was a hit, it captured the essence of Summer 2010 to a tee and is so undeniably catchy you can't say no. Plus that added bonus of G's own version of the song...

So I got the album (mostly to encourage G's ridiculous lyrical genius(?)). First thing we noticed is that it STANK. Some label exec decided it'd be a smart idea to make it smell of cotton candy.

Teenage Dreams, the second single and namesake, is a personal favourite. It does everything that a pop song should do. It makes you think "This song is about me!!!" I find myself humming it at work and people often ask me if I'm choking/having a seizure/having a death rattle (Poof! There goes my dreams of singing at Ally Pally :( )

The mix of songs go from the sublime to the bizarre. Whilst listening to Peacock in traffic G stopped the CD and refused to put it back on till we hit the open road in case people thought he might be "a bender". Not a massive fan of this song, like the same sex issue graphic songs about penises aren't really my cup of tea.

Highlights include Pearl, Firework and The One That Got Away. Miss Hudson/Perry/Russell Brand can certainly sing and I love her cheeky "I'm having a bit of a laugh" attitude but there a few songs that just leave me thinking it's a little bit more Smurfs Go Pop than epic masterpiece.

Teenage Dreams does exactly what it says on the tin. It's a perfect teenage pop record with a few guilty pleasures for us mid-20s plus.

I give it a 7 stars out of 10.

Green is not serene...

I woke up this morning feeling very sick.

I hate being sick, I feel guilty that I can't go to work and I get bored.

G is off as he worked a night shift, so he's fast asleep upstairs so I can't even play on the Playstation. Boo!

What do you guys do when you're sick?

I didn't get the job...

The blog title says it all, I didn't get the job.... I didn't know I wanted the job but when I saw it I wanted it.

I was perfect for it, I aced the interview, I aced the written task, I aced the presentation... but I didn't get it.

Am I sad? Of course I am.

Am I going to let it get to me? Maybe a little bit....

What is going to make me do? Pull my finger out mostly...

~*~*~Sparkly Sparkly ~*~*~
I spent my entire life wanting to be a journalist. I lived, breathed, edited and dreamt words and stories.
I went to university, I got a degree and then everything went a bit wrong...

money, bereavement, apathy, mice infestation.... it all happened... so I moved.

...and things got a little bit better.

I settled in, I got a job (not what I wanted but a job nonethless, a big win for a recessionista graduate), I met G, the man of my dreams and things ticked along nicely...

until the job.

The job I didn't get. The job that I never knew I wanted until I knew it was there.

And not getting the job has made me think.... Fuck. I need to sort my life out.

Personal life... it's all good. Smiles and happiness, holidays abroad, cups of tea and bacon sandwiches in bed.

Career wise... employed but stilted. Overworked, underpaid, horrifically suited to a job I hate and horrifically far away from the job I want to have. I need to bridge the gap somehow.

Family? Oh gosh that's another topic for another day....

And so, join me if you will, into some ramblings and grumblings, highs and lows, everything and anything that D gets up to.

And maybe if I get enough followers.... I may eat some glitter for your viewing pleasure